I just sat down at my computer and cranked up the music.
Subwoofer and all.
It feels so good. First song to pop up on my Pandora (Love’s Holiday/Earth, Wind & Fire Radio, if you’re feeling funky) is Michael Jackson’s “P.Y.T”. Just what I need to light a fire under my ass this morning to literally dust this thing off and get down to business. He sings,” don’t you know now is the perfect time…” and he’s right, it is.
It has been way to long.
I have been avoiding my blog, my writing and generally all things I enjoy for sometime now. I don’t know why I do that? Must be a part of the weird and continual self-abuse that is my default when times get stressful. I tend to fold up shop on all things productive and go back to the old way of thinking and managing my emotions when something sucky happens. And yes, sucky stuff has happened. But I am still here. My family is doing well. I have a roof over my head. All is well. Gratitude washes away all the weariness that has threatened to take over.
The good news is, the time between my old default setting and the fresh and ambitious setting that I prefer is getting shorter and shorter. Thanks be to God! My desire to THRIVE is greater than the desire to be feel sorry for myself.
One of my best friends reminded me of a great quote yesterday by the legendary Tony Robbins, “motion is emotion.”
Motion is emotion.
Our body language and energy level is connected to what we think and feel about ourselves. How we feel about ourselves dictates the quality of what we do day in and day out. Even though I feel as though I have to learned this lesson over and over…here it is again today and I’ll be damned if a negative attitude hadn’t snuck in and tried to take over again. Which is a shame because I have so much to tell you guys about the past few months. I have gone (mostly) sugar-free. I have started Pilates. I began acupuncture to help with managing my foot pain and also to promote healing so that I can get to where I want to get with my fitness goals. I have been enjoying some great accomplishments! Even though I have a long way to go, I can”t afford to pull the plug and crawl back into my comfortable cave where everything dulls and comes to a screeching stop just because it seems too overwhelming.
You can’t make momentum out of nothing.
So today I will GET UP.
GET A MOVE ON.
Maybe put on some Beyoncé and get my groove on. I will not lie down and let poor and lazy thinking allow me to slip into fatigue and depression (again). I think this is a danger for any of us moms who stay at home during the day (but that is a whole other blog post!). If I am making the choice to sit and marinate in all of my negative feelings and fears, how can I ever expect any changes to occur or progress? This was where I always seemed to fail before. Throwing in the towel and resorting back to the same old thing before the new thing could take hold. Putting a halt on all of the things that help me feel better and do better is about the worst thing I can do.
I will WRITE.
I will post it. Even if it sucks. Because I know I should. Because I know it helps me feel better. Because I know it helps connect me to everyone else who reads these words and resonates with what I feel, and I know I’m not alone. Because I know it is my art and my gift and if I want to get better at it, I need to quit worrying about who will read it and what they will think of it.
It’s the perfect time.
Especially now that Pharrell and Daft Punk are in my ear telling me it”s time “to get lucky”.