Day 5 of my in home boot camp/rehab. I must report that I am doing surprisingly well! Many thanks to all of this who are praying and encouraging me along this journey ( I really hate the over use of that word!) I am still in the cleansing phase, and am enjoying feeling better inside and out. In the back of my mind I worry because I’m always a great “starter”, but this time I’ve made up my mind to finish. Part of why I’ve made it public, for the accountability.

I am motivated by many things in my life. Some are great, (boringly obvious though right? No offense anybody! Just keepin it REAL. It is Realology after all.) My children, my familia, my faith, the bible, good friends, great books, fresh poetry. All of these I have blogged about before.

Other motivators may be slightly inappropriate and selfish but…?


My OBSESSION with Nicki Minaj. Seriously. If the song “Pound the Alarm” doesn’t light a fire under you ass, there just isn’t hope for you. She is brutally honest in her “spoken word” (rapping) and all about women being empowered and champions. Overcoming and rising above. There are some songs about, ehh hemm, other stuff too…but I skip those. (Wink-wink) With her in my headphones, I’m murdering that treadmill, ya feel me?

Another motivator is Disneyland. Ok ok ok. Some of you who know me in real life are like, ” Ugh, here we go…the Disneyland obsession. Good Lord.” But it helps!!!

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” -Walt Disney

If I can just imagine that instead of walking around my block, I’m walking down Main Street…it makes it a little more fun. I walk around Disneyland ALL DAY and am never bothered by it. So when I walk ( and hopefully soon, run) I imagine that I’m preparing for the next trip. My ultimate Disney dream would be to run in a marathon and earn one of those awesome Disney marathon medals. Someday I will, watch me suckers!

In all honesty, the biggest motivator of all is my husband. He is gonna kill me for making this blog post all about him, but I have to gush. He never ever ever gives up on me. He never looks at me or treats me any differently based on my size or how I look. I feel nothing but acceptance for who I am as a person and his wife. To honor him and how much I love him and am grateful for him I will post a poem in his honor. Gotta find fresh motivation everyday, right? Have a wonderful weekend!

He doesn’t know I’m watching.

So many years together now,
you’d think I’d grow tired.
His arms that are muscled with years of working,
His hands, strong and skilled.
Fixing our messes. Repairing our breaks.
His back, broad and wide.
Spreading out into shoulders like wings to hide in,
and I do.
When I bury my face into his neck, he tucks me in.
Breathe in love.
I was made to fit in there.
No matter my size, he makes sure I do.

He doesn’t know I’m watching.

Playing with our children.
Laughing, running, playing.
Hiding and tickling.
Someday these will just be our memories.
Affection free and abundant.
They’re so lucky, I think constantly.
They have no doubt of their importance to him,
He leaves no room for that.

He doesn’t know I’m watching.

As he sleeps and I lie awake.
I listen to him breathe,
My hand on his chest,
thumping heart beat.
I’m so lucky, I think constantly.
No room for doubt.
Just gratitude.