My heart has broken for a close loved one who is experiencing a broken heart. An unexpected break up leaving shock and devastation in its wake.
It’s so hard to watch someone you love hurting and in pain when you’re powerless to do anything about it. Though there wasn’t much I could do to satiate my big sister hunger for blood and revenge, I was pleased to at least offer my home as a retreat for a few days for her to hide away in without the risk of running into him.
The truth is, heartache has to simply run its course. There is no cure. (Though, I attempted to distract with a scary movie which may or may not have been the best idea.)
I sometimes forget how it felt to be younger and waiting for my turn with true love. There were days (MANY days) I thought it would never come. That I would be skipped. Many days I believed I was somehow unworthy of being swept up in a grand love that would leave me breathless. Waiting for it felt like an eternity.
Now, I have been blessed for almost 9 years by a husband who is faithful, loving and amazing but even in the best case scenario…marriage is really hard work. It’s not this dreamy, breathtaking love song all day like we sit around fantasizing about. Romantic movies have really done us all a disservice.
There are SO many things I wish I would have enjoyed more in my single days that I had before marriage. (Eeeeeeek! Im not supposed to say that right? ) Christian culture for the female 18+ year old is ALL ABOUT nabbing that godly husband. It becomes quite the obsession. Bridal showers and bridesmaid dresses in abundance. Without realizing it, the message we spread is that our value as women can only be found if and when a man finds it in us. So we all cross our fingers and toes and PRAY PRAY PRAY for that husband to arrive. What does this mean for single women? Or women who have been called into important careers, ministry or missions that feel second class because of not having a husband!? What?! Is that what our Heavenly Father has planned for his daughters?
I read in a book recently that my calling as a woman of faith is not to my husband, house or children as we are taught…it is to Christ alone. It is to be all the me I was intended to be. Created to be. Which will ultimately make me the wife and mom I ought to be if that becomes a part of my life not the destination.
All I’m saying is on the flip side, there was so much learning about myself and loving myself I missed out on in the big hurry to fall in love and set up house.
If there was any advice I could ( and do) give to young, single gals out there awaiting love or mending a broken heart it would be this:
1.) GOD CREATED YOU BEAUTIFULLY JUST AS YOU ARE. YOU ARE PRECIOUS TO HIM. HE IS WITH YOU ALWAYS EVEN IN THE LONELIEST OF TIMES. HE HAS AMAZING PLANS FOR YOUR LIFE!
“You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.”
-Song of Solomon 4:7 ESV
“The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.”
-Zephaniah 3:17 ESV
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
-Jeremiah 29:11 ESV
2.) YOU HAVE THE WORLD AT YOUR FINGERTIPS! GO PLACES! DO THINGS! CLIMB MOUNTAINS AND CONQUER FEARS! SOMEDAY YOUR BIGGEST CONQUEST WILL BE A 4FT PILE OF LAUNDRY…DON’T WASTE TIME! ADVENTURE AND SEEK AND LIVE FULLY. DON’T WAIT ON SOMEONE ELSE TO MAKE LIFE WORTH LIVING.
3.) IF A GUY IS TREATING YOU LIKE AN OPTION AND FEELS THE NEED TO SURVEY THE LAND BEFORE HE COMMITS TO YOU…KEEP MOVING LITTLE SISTER. HE AIN’T WORTHY. SADLY, WE SOMETIMES ACCEPT THE LOVE WE FEEL WE DESERVE. THAT IS WHY IT’S SO IMPORTANT TO LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF WELL. THE WAY YOU LOVE YOURSELF WILL SHOW OTHERS HOW TO LOVE YOU. THIS IS THE HARDEST LESSON TO LEARN.
4.) GET TO KNOW YOURSELF. A STRONG WOMAN IS ONE WHO KNOWS WHO SHE IS.