“What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step.”
-C. S. Lewis
Sorry if I’ve been a little bit of a bummer lately!
I don’t want my blog post to become a melancholy diary…but the truth is that this fight is real. The pain and frustrations are real! Recovery is no joke. Some days it’s hard to muster a positive and thrilling grasp on it all. The thing that makes this fight different from all times I’ve tried fighting before is that this one seems to have no end. I have surrendered to that fact.
I have to remind myself of why I started all of this. I have to constantly check in with myself to make sure I’m not getting so carried away and obsessed with losing weight that I forget that losing weight alone is not the ultimate goal…
The goal is freedom.
The goal is to TRULY embrace God’s mercy and stop punishing myself.
The goal is becoming more and more who I’m meant to be.
The goal is to be real, honest and not living in self-deception.
The goal is to take what I’m learning and allow it to saturate my life…making me a better wife, mother, sister, friend, daughter and human being.
The goal is to somehow see beauty in and learn to care for my own body so that it would help me to better care for and see beauty in the church body.
The goal is to stop burying my gifts and talents beneath the fear.
Praise God, because I know I’ll get to wherever I’m headed.
However many steps it takes.
THE PRAYER OF MY HEART
I have been foolish in my sinful ways.
Because of these crimes…my body suffers these afflictions.
I have loathed any self-control with food;
It has brought me to the gates of death.
But when I cried out to The Lord…
He freed me from my distress;
He sent out his word and healed me.
Delivering me from my destruction!
I will thank The Lord for his immoveable love,
for his wonderful works to this child.
He calms this storm to a whisper,
and stills the waves.
What a blessing is that stillness,
as he brings me safely into harbor.
Inspired by: Psalm 107:17-30