” Anger is a cover up for pain. Its how we act when we can’t or don’t want to show our hurt feelings.”
One of my favorite people in the world said this to me in a conversation this last weekend. The funny thing is, we were talking about someone else, but these words were for me.
Our lives are intertwined with long held friendships and newer ones. Family that you see regularly and family that you don’t. Acquaintances from old jobs or past seasons of your life. People who you went to high school with, which in my case is always a toss up because I was such a dork in high school I’m not quite sure how people remember me. However, there is a natural progression through everyday living that prohibits you from being able to manage all of these relationships at one time. Thank God!
Seasons change and so do people.
Except now there is Facebook and social media.
Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Facebook, but sometimes if you let
yourself go down the rabbit hole it leaves you feeling…well…hurt.
I might just be a big wiener and no one out there can relate to any of this, but it sucks to see relationships with friends or family that have faded away. It really sucks when those relationships have died when you have tried everything to keep them afloat. It kinda hurts to see them carrying on without you. Sharp little stings of jealousy? Hurt?
Sometimes it may even be that YOU say something or post a picture of your surprise birthday party without thinking of the “fringe” relationships out there that may get hurt by having not been included or offended by you, or your clever post that you thought was so funny. People force feeding their opinions and judgements… It’s just too much sometimes. We are not meant to be accountable to this many people for what we say and do. If “comparison is the thief of joy” then we are in trouble.
It’s easier to feel pissed off than admit someone hurt your feelings.
If we hide our hurts with anger, that is the birthplace of bitterness and that is toxic to our whole life! Bitterness ruins the taste of everything in your life so that there is nothing left to enjoy.
Lately, I have been experiencing some freedom in this by learning how to care for myself and respect myself. I can’t stress this enough, you really can’t love anyone if you don’t love on yourself. When you are ok with who you are, it’s easier to feel okay with letting some relationships go. Sometimes that’s all that’s left, and that is ok.
At the end of the day I don’t think we are trying to hurt each other, well most of us anyway.