The Blockbuster out by our house is closing. It’s the second or third one that I’ve seen close. The Hubs and I stopped in this last weekend to buy a couple of movies that they are trying to sell for cheap. It sparked a conversation between us that kinda freaked us both out…our kids won’t really know what “renting movies” was like.
I mean, we have Netflix and Redbox now, but growing up renting movies at “Major Video” or similar fine establishment was a family event. To go to the video store, try not to look at the horror movie covers while trying to peek past those black saloon doors that were for grown ups only was somehow, a right of passage.
Ahh…the good ol days.
Thus prompting me to compose this list.

25 things I experienced as a child/adolescent…
(that my kids won’t understand)

1.) Have to wait till Friday nights (T.G.I.F.!!)/Saturday mornings to watch their favorite shows ( long live “Step by Step” and “Family Matters”)! I can hear the theme songs in my head still. Hearing the first three words of “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air” and not singing the rest is down right irresistible. However, I think these days, my son knows how to operate the DVR better than me. I’m like,” Who the heck is recording “Star Wars:The Clone Wars”???”
Also, they will never know of the social awareness that was to be had by watching an after school special.

2.) Ride bikes around the hood under the age of 13. Also includes the general “playing outside with friends”. That is not on the menu here at the Holden house for a long time. The kids who live around here are total sociopaths…unlike the gems that lived in my neighborhood growing up…declaring “get off of my property” if you didn’t do what they wanted. Like they were the ones paying the mortgage and taxes. Jerks. Everyone had THAT kid on their street, am I right? I wonder what ever happened to you Richard? Are you still short? Ehhhem. Sorry. Getting back on track…

2.5) This one is piggybacking on the general freedom to play outside theme, I loved to climb this big tree in our backyard and imagine my afternoons away. I thought I was unstoppable because I could climb that tree. We don’t have any trees at all here at our house. That makes me sad for my kids.

3.) Sell candy/fundraiser stuff door to door. That was exhilarating and terrifying. A gamble at who would answer their door in what kind of mood. Catering to my inner peeping tom that liked to get a quick peek into each house to see how other people lived. ( Is that weird?) Leaving me forever grateful that my house smelled like MY house and not of weird, fried foods.
Always trying so hard to sell enough candy bars to win that damn nerf gun, when in all reality all I ever got was a pencil eraser. Maybe a sticker. No wonder I have trust issues.

4.) Record their favorite songs onto a mixed tape from the radio. To master the magic that was finding the sweet spot between when the DJ stopped talking and when the song actually started…glorious. A refined art-form really.

5.) Listening to Casey Kasem’s weekly top 40 on Sunday morning radio. Usually whilst being banished to your room for cleaning or being grounded for some reason.

6.) Actually listening to the radio and not just MP3 players or iPods … ( which might be best…when I envision myself singing along and knowing all the words to Bel Biv Devo songs in the third grade…I instantly feel dirty and ashamed. Thanks a lot parents!)

7.) Actually watching music videos. Dude, remember how cool you thought you were when you watched ALL, like, 11 minutes of “November Rain” by Guns N Roses? Epicness.

8.) Take pay phone money to “check in ” from the mall or wherever I had permission to be…or know how to call “collect”. Remember “checking in”? I had to every 30 minutes. Not one minute late or I was grounded. If I was at a pals house, I had to leave, ride my bike home to check in then ride all the way back! I was grounded a lot growing up. Now, as a mama, I get it.

9.) The pride and prestige that came along with your pog and/or marble collection. I mean, can we get some love for the pog?

10.) Coming home from school and doing your homework to the sounds “Days of our Lives” or of “The Oprah Winfrey Show”.

11.) Having your mom pick you up throw you on the couch one day like a boss to show you how easily you could be thrown into a van and snatched up by pedophiles after Oprah insisted on kids watching an episode about kidnapping with their parents. Spurring an anxiety about every car that rolled by me on the journey home from school that lasted from 3rd to 7th grade.

12.) Playing “Mall Madness” at your friends house.

13.) Drinking “squeez it’s”.

14.) The importance of “Starter Jackets” even though at 11 years old I was not a Raider football fan or Chicago Bulls basketball fan…had no business pretending like I was, but they were coveted. We were so gangsta.

15.) Waiting and listening to the jagged magic that was signing onto America Online.

16.) knowing and sorting through the importance of all of these 90’s gingers.

17.) Secretly wishing my family could be on “Supermarket Sweep” . We would have OWNED it.

18.) Also, “Family Double Dare”. Like you never wished for it?

19.) Knowing for a FACT that one should not go chasing waterfalls, please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re used to.

20.) The magic of roller skating at the rink on a Friday night. ( My kids may engage in this activity but it wouldn’t be the same as it was in the mid-late 90’s. Lets face the facts, these kids are just not as cool as we were.) The best was going to the bathroom with skates on, figure THAT one out.

21.) Having to learn proper phone etiquette. Most peeps only have cell phones anymore. My kids haven’t really had to learn how to answer a phone properly like I did…”Hello? May I ask who’s calling?…Oh, she’s not in at the moment can I take a message?”

22.) The triumph and tragedy that was the “three-way” phone call. Coaxing and tricking people to talk trash about another person who would be silently listening on the third line…ugh. Again, this is why I have trust issues. Some of you bitches out there know who are.

23.) Actually having to talk on what we now refer to as a land line for communication. Laying all over my kitchen floor, swinging and twisting the phone cord around while gossiping about everyone under the sun. Not being allowed to make or accept calls after 8pm. Kids these days just text all night…their little thumbs typing away…causing trouble and mischief…a great example of the general decline of our nations morals. Thumbs…

24.) Maintaining my social life after hours or during groundation through my bedroom window. My window got a lot of action as it was on the side of the house away from my parents window. The convenience of having a perfectly built platform right underneath it for access to crawl underneath the house made for a perfect perch for my pals to mosey over and pay me a visit. (This became very lucrative during my high school years.)
Without-which I would have been stuck with only my Sweet Valley Twins, Nancy Drew and Babysitters Club books to pass the time. I have insured my children cannot do this being that they both live on the second story of our home. But, I will be on the lookout…

25.) Writing, folding and preserving notes. Some of y’all still have that old shoebox stuffed somewhere. If we had been graded on the important things in high school like how to write and pass notes, I would have been BRILLIANT. An A+ student. Kids these days think they’re all fancy with their snapchats and emojii’s, but WE were trailblazers. We were artists. We made secret origami-ninja folds and pull tabs that you will only hear of from urban legend.

Kids, someday you will acknowledge that I wasn’t a slacker, your mom was indeed, a pioneer.
You’re welcome.