What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.”
-Mark 9:23 NLT

“Realize the power that is within you and you will no longer be a victim of depressed spirit. And what is this inner power? Simply the God given ability to believe. To the extent to which you develop this faculty you will master the defeats of this life. The great issue is to learn to believe. Learn to believe! Learn to cast out doubt!”
– Norman Vincent Peale

I found this little old devotional in a box of old pictures that belonged to my grandma. We were going through them a few months ago to find pictures for the family reunion when I found this I decided to keep it and read it. I thought it was double special because it belonged to her and because the content seemed right up my alley! Call it serendipitous but I feel like I was meant to find it and enjoy if. After a few minutes of just resting my nose between the pages inhaling that delicious old book smell, I opened it up and was immediately blessed by the reading for day one.

Norman Vincent Peale is famous for authoring the book,”The Power of Positive Thinking”. Contrary to what some believe, he never implies that with affirmations and positive thinking we can manifest whatever we want. But rather, if we learn to have control over our thought life and train ourselves to look to God and trust in his power, the stronger our faith will grow and peace will abound. He says,” when you learn to believe, the area of the impossible is vastly reduced and the area of the possible is greatly increased.”
It seems like a simple and reasonable formula but it is the training of my thought life that I have found to be a black hole of doom. I am a certain kind of pessimist (which can be useful at times) that struggles with not living in constant terms of worst case scenarios.
Trying to capture my thoughts before they turn into feelings, desires and ultimately actions has been extremely difficult. Being constantly self aware is exhausting. Which is partly why I became so out of control in my addiction to food. It’s way easier to check out and not deal with myself. The always available cop-out of:

Ill start tomorrow.

FAMOUS LAST WORDS. These words will kill me if I let them to continue to let me off the hook TODAY.

So, for today I WILL…

Believe that God loves me and has a plan for my life.

Believe that he will give me the strength I need and the faith to believe to overcome this captivity of disordered eating and the bondage of this body that holds me back.

Believe that I can endure the path he is calling me to right now because he has supplied all I need.

Believe that I am on the road to recovery and freedom no matter how I feel or what I look like.

Believe that (despite battling omnipresent and continual pain) my body is healing and growing stronger with each good choice I make.

Believe that I will emerge as the woman I was created to be and not second guess myself and the strides I am making based on others opinions.

Believe that my husband and children deserve to have me at my very best and that I am striving for it minute by minute.

Believe that I DESERVE to be at my best and enjoy the life that I have to live today.