“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.”
-C. S. Lewis
Textures, layers, richness.
Friendship adds all of these things into our lives, but as a great and wise woman said to me this morning, “you love and value people but, gosh darn it if it’s not taxing sometimes!”
I hate letting people down more than anything. Call it people pleasing, or whatever, but it’s just the way I am. What’s worse, is when I expect the same loyalty from people and I come up short. Maybe everyone else has really solid boundaries and I am out of whack? I don’t know. It just seems bunk when I try to respect others and what they choose to believe and how they live their lives and am not afforded the same respect in turn. I’m sure I’m guilty of it too. Aren’t we all? I guess in the name of growth I will try to keep the sting fresh and tender as a reminder to be careful…as not to harm anyone else.
Becoming friends with someone is a process. The initial meeting and introduction. There is a swapping of interests and bullet point facts about our life. Then the shared mutual laugh about something ridiculous and voila! You’re well on our way to inside jokes and years of laughter and rich friendship. You open up your heart and share struggles, opinions, memories, obstacles. You live life together. The season may last a lifetime or for only a quick moment in time. Each relationship giving and adding to your experience as a human. Sometimes even jarring you and taking away a little piece of your heart.
That’s the risk we all take, right?
Investing in relationships is a messy business. We can all cause pain and hurt, most of the time without even knowing it. I am tempted at times to fold up shop. I would be absolutely content with my husband and siblings as my only adult relationships sometimes, but that is not how life was designed. As a woman who claims a life of faith, I am called to love and serve those around me. I am called to lay my life down to honor the life that was laid down for me.
May I be vigilant in truly putting others above and before me.
I want to make that the great practice of my life.
Evolving into who God wants me to be…not whom others expect.