How do you respond to compliments?

Why is it when someone is praising us it makes us feel uncomfortable? Maybe we really enjoy it and are thankful for the kind words but instead we deny it out loud to the giver, rejecting the gift. That is an acceptable exchange in our culture.

“Hey girl! You look so pretty today!”

“Ugh. No I don’t, I’m a mess! But, thank you.”


What about the weird reverse tactic of fishing around for and then rejecting a compliment?

“Hi! I’m so glad you came over, sorry my house is such a mess.”

“It looks great! You should see my house…”

“No way! But, thank you.”

I am the worst offender in this department.
Now, we all know that before you’re expecting a visitor we all do the 20 minute power charge clean up. So why do we do this? It’s crazy!

Maybe the way we present and keep our homes and even the inside of our cars, purses, and drawers is a parallel look into how we see, keep and present ourselves. When you watch home makeover shows or segments of shows that are dealing with purging clutter, the “experts” always talk about your stuff and the environment in which you live has a direct correlation with how you feel. The stress you feel, the chaos.

This is a terrifying thought to me!

Personally, I am honestly more comfortable when I walk into someone’s house and it is not pristine. I am at ease when my friends homes are lived in. Sometimes no matter how on top of it we are, with little ones and busy lives there will always be chaos. The “experts” of make over shows live in a fantasy world of disposable income and time on their hands. Some of us don’t have the luxury. We should make efforts to care for not only our homes and stuff, but ourselves!

The thing that makes me sad is we piss on all of our efforts when we reject the gifts of genuine compliments. When we take the extra time to do our hair and make up and spritz our favorite perfume. When we work hard to keep up on the dusting and dishes or set a lovely table for a warm dinner with friends.

Being kind to ourselves and lovingly accepting ourselves beings with a,
“Thank you so much!”

Thankfulness always leads to gratitude. We could all use more of that.




If I stop and listen,
I hear playing and laughter.
Mischief, memories.

If I stop and listen,
I can hear his adams apple vibrate,
Talking himself through a project.
Fluffing and mending our nest.
For my joy alone he works.
I know he’d rather be doing something else.
His heart beats from his hands as he serves me.

If I stop and listen,
I can hear the hum of power flowing through my home.
Water splashing when needed.
Ignored but relied upon.
Only missing in absence.
The convenience of a switch.
This easy life I live.
How dare I ask for more?

If I stop and listen,
I hear running and thumping.
Jumping and yelling.
Muffled plans and confessions.
My boy is music and dancing.
Learning and gaming.

If I stop and listen,
Dishwasher cleaning, appliances beeping.
Back door.
Dog door.
Guzzles of water like she’s running a marathon.
Gasp for air, take a breath baby girl! And out again for more.
Chasing the dog. Barking and pouncing.
Outside adventures, no grown ups aloud, except for always.
“Please play with me mama!”
Springs on trampolines moaning.
Belly laughing, hearts showing.

If I stop and listen,
to sounds I am constantly trying to hush,
This love song I’ll only hear once.
No repeats.
No encores.
Soak it all in.
Time to be quiet and listen.