We laughed yesterday about a spoof we saw online mocking Taylor Swifts new song “22”. The spoof was titled “32” and it made fun of some of the obvious differences between the ten year age gap. It was funny, but being the deep and introspective, sometimes pessimistic gal that I am, I started to take a real inventory. It got a little depressing for a minute.
My sister is 22. Almost 23. I like to live vicariously through her life sometimes. She is a brilliant, hilarious, beautiful and a wickedly sarcastic old soul with a nose ring. She lives in a fabulous, large urban city with friends where she commutes to and from a full time job to the tune of funky pop or bluegrass in her headphones and sketches art in her notebook next to her Chinese homework. She would hate it if I called her a hipster…but she drinks PBR and wears neon hats, you can do the math. I love to hear her crazy stories of her adventures with our brothers (24 & 21) and their friends, going to concert after concert. Movie after movie. Sometimes when all four of us siblings are together I tag along, but I’m definitely oooold. Clutching my purse. Yawning at 11pm.
When I turned 22 I was planning my wedding. We were knee deep in it. Pre-marriage counseling and books about marriage. Making out anywhere and everywhere we could get away with it. Taking every opportunity to stare at my ring, especially while driving. What’s up with that? Trying on dresses and having showers planned in my honor. Fussing about hair and shoes and reception ideas. Basically driving everyone around me crazy with wedding buzz. I remember counting down the days at work on the sign in sheet…looking back now I’m sure everyone really appreciated THAT. It was also the same year my Grandma Betty passed away. I lived in her house at that time and was fortunate enough to be with her when it happened. I have missed her everyday since, especially now that I have kids. I could kick my 22 year old ass for taking her for granted while she was literally right under my nose. I was so “busy” I missed out on a lot even though I got more time with her than most.
Needless to say, “22” looked a lot different to me than it does for my sister. We laugh when we talk about how when I was her age ( almost 23) I was married and close to discovering being pregnant. She cant IMAGINE that being her life. She’s having so much fun. Which is okay, I sowed all my wild oats in high school…but I never imagined I’d be this grown up person I am sometimes. I stop and wonder who have me the authority and gumption to rise to the occasion and grow up?
I have a committed TV schedule.
I have been known to actually cast a vote on American Idol.
Who am I? Setting my alarm for eeeeearly to tend to responsibilities?
Wiping out my refrigerator in the early before the sunrise while thinking heavily about the books I’m reading about faith, theology, apologetics, and lots of thing ending in “ism”.
Researching the causes and natural remedies for my daughters vicious eczema.
Reminding myself how many books my son still has to read before spring break is over.
Making a grocery list and calculating pretty accurately what it is I’ll actually spend because I know almost exactly how much everything I buy costs. I’ll tell you the costs are rising if you haven’t noticed.
Noting on that list things I’m responsible to bring to a dinner party.
Rearranging my laundry schedule to make sure my husband has clean clothes for a business trip on Monday.
I’m the annoyed person at the movies when you’re talking, shushing you.
I’m the lady that holds up the whole line at Walmart to give exact change from my change purse just to “get rid of it”.
I could go on, but it’s boring. It’s all the stuff you are doing too. While working full time jobs. Washing cars and dogs and clothes. Mailing letters and bills and birthday cards. Planning parties and events and trips. Dealing with dentists appointments and doctor appointments and everything appointments.
While I wince at not being cool anymore ( because I obviously WAS) I’m really lucky and happy to have the life I do. I know there will be a day when I will look back on my thirties and wish I coulda, woulda or shoulda…
We are grown ups. It’s official.