I’ve decided I’m done sulking about having not become the latest weight-loss sensation in the west.
I grew into some high hopes a few months ago that this time my efforts with being real and blogging about my situation would be rewarded with numbers dropping off the scale with ease. This attitude is EXACTLY the one I was supposed to avoid because it always takes my struggle out of Gods hands and into my own. Well, as we can see…that never ends up the way I hope it will. I was supposed to be focusing on how to love myself “as is” and once again I got caught up in the net of an extremist. Starting to listen to that old tape of “once you lose this weight…THEN you’ll have REAL stuff to say and write about. THEN you will be really useful and helpful to people. THEN you will be comfortable and love yourself.” So I set out on extreme diets and tried to take charge only to find myself failing and hating myself for the past few weeks. Letting the cycle start to sneak in and beat me up a bit. Well, not today my good man! Today we are changing course.
I am reminded once again this morning that I have no guarantee of THEN. I only have NOW.
So right NOW, whether I feel like it or not I will thank God for the body I have that is going to get me through the day. Right NOW I’m going to rejoice that I have been useful and helpful to people. Right NOW I’m going to celebrate where I’m at. Right NOW I get to make the choice to turn my bad attitude around and get to walking in the right direction again. Towards the me I’m truly supposed to be.
In my own stinking way, I don’t mind getting honest with you in my comments but the thought that someone else I know seeing what I wrote or the struggles I go through is VERY unappealing to me. That being said, thanks for this post, you are not alone. I am feeling a little resentful, anxious, bitter and let down this morning as my battle to lose weight continues. I waited 3 months for results back to confirm there was nothing “wrong” with me keeping me from losing weight, so what’s the hold up? It seems no matter what I give up or how much I work out, the weight is staying and that’s not ok with me. So today I’m going to about face with you and stand! and keep standing all while I seek first the kingdom of God and in knowing all Jesus did for me…I have a good life! love ya Sistah!
Amen amen amen xoxoxoxi