Today is my dads birthday and tomorrow is mine. Since my birth I have celebrated my birthday together with him an also celebrated age and independence with all of America. I loved being called a firecracker baby when I was younger. I used to feel like all the fireworks were for me. I feel that I have been blessed with the perfectly balanced birthday distance from Christmas. Which almost made up for a summer birthday denying me of cupcakes in a classroom. These are important bullet points when you’re a kid.
Last year I turned 30. It was weird. I felt like it finally made me an official adult and that somehow I’d be found out to be an ill-prepared phony. But, my hubs threw me a fabulous surprise party that squelched any doubt and fear I had mustered about leaving my twenties behind.
So now here I am stuck with 31. I must say it is not very exciting. Especially since I can count all the ways in which I did not change and transform in the past year like I had hoped. But on the brighter side, I can see all the ways I HAVE.
This time last year I did not have a blog, nor was a blog even on my radar.
This time last year I had not begun writing poetry again. I had given it up when I was 18 and had thought that part of myself was tired and gone for good. It was in this last year that I began again…I am so grateful. It has become my prayer closet.
This time last year I was stuck in a job that left me feeling alienated and depressed. I had no idea it would be my last few months of it.
This time last year I was still trying to make myself fit into a mold I thought I was supposed to. Striving to meet others expectations as a wife, mom, and Christian.
I guess when I stop and think about it, my first year of my thirties has been a celebration of independence and new found freedom. The me I was last year on my birthday did not have the confidence I do now as I sit and write this. I am very thankful to acknowledge the ways in which I’ve grown, no matter how small. Here’s to another year of wall breaking, fear facing, badassery!!
I’ll drink to that!